I am Caveman! UGGH!

Day 4 of the "Caveman" diet. As suggested to me by Killian Roach, a diet so called because you are only allowed to eat what a cave man could find to eat. No granary carbohydrates because Caveman hadn't learned to make bread yet. No sugar in coffee, no milk because cows weren't being milked then either. Cuzzers, Pizza and chocolate are out, although Mr Sizzle's sausage is OK without the bread roll.

Its all about trimming down, so my power to weight ratio is improved for the coming set of CCCP rides across the UK and beyond. I am considering growing my hair and beard for the full caveman effect.

All that's left is proteins, fats and non granary carbs - apparently these are basic staple diet of the Caveman, and what I need to trim some pounds and get into shape. The thing is I seem to be eating twice as much as ever. 6 Eggs at a time with bacon slices. A whole bag of apples. Party bag of fruit and nuts alongside half a chicken and a tub of peanut butter eaten straight from the tub with a spoon. Green tea, black coffee, more bloody fruit juice and NO BEER.

Considering I don't normally eat breakfast, this mornings petit dejeuner was 3 scrambled eggs, portion of melon and grape fruit salad and half a box of Sainbury's wafer thin chicken slices. Which doesn't sound too Caveman when you consider the microwaving involved for the scrambled egg.

At the same time I have been hitting the turbo trainer with vigor while watching some inspirational video of a drug addled Lance Armstrong breaking the land speed record while climbing Alp duez, but the end result is I have put on 2 pounds.

It might be due to the fact I'm probably working up to the worlds biggest poo - after all, 10 eggs a day is gonna bung you up in some way of form. Alternatively the eggs may be the culprits responsible for 2 pounds of extra cholesterol gained throughout my arteries - either way, cant see this lasting a month!