Weekend Warrior Report

"Tomorrow at 9.30?" - Sounded like a good idea on the Saturday afternoon before, shortly after representing Cannock Rugby seconds against Stone.

8.45 next morning: Can't move, the bed is stuck to my back, my legs wont move and my head feels like it doesn't belong to me My mobile has gone flat, and I've left my charger in the pub, so I cant get in touch with my would be road warrior to try and get out of it.

If I'm being honest, it wasn't just the rugby that took its toll on my body. I had the misfortune to bump into Mr Andrew Martin, lone wolf drinker that evening and looking for someone to accompany him. "We'll be back by 10" he promised. Once again I fell into his trap - I was back by 12 with a slight wobble on and a Chinese in hand to try and appease my long suffering wife.

So 8.45 the next morning was difficult, by 8.50 my vision returned, 8.55 I was up and fishing around in the wardrobe for my kit. by 9.05 I had logged into facebook to let fellow CCCP riders know the score and where we are meeting and I'm out of the door by 9.15. Quick squirt of lube for my poor bike which needed a service some 2 months ago and we're off! No breakfast, no supplies on board, perfect preparation

Free wheel down the hill and pull up on the car park, and there''s one taker from the CCCP mob, Chesh. The rest are in bed, to be honest I dont blame em, its freezing.

And so begins a 40 mile trawl of me desperately hanging on to Chesh's back wheel, while pretending not to be in the red zone. Stopped for a comfort break - in the middle of no where, but not much cover and with perfect 'mid flow' timing a small group of 4 female cyclists came around the corner and  greeted me automatically as I stood at the side of the road next to the hedge, that's when they realised what I was doing there.... Ah bit embarrassing that one, well it was cold.

Continuing the ride, I waved with false enthusiasm at passing riders, took my turn on the front over a particular Strava time trial segment, refused the offer of a sprint between signposts and coped with my numb fingers locked to the handle bars - its all part of the fun! To be honest it is, I may have been hungover, my legs may have been in bits from Rugby, but there's a bit of the masochist in every cyclist and that morning I was taking suffering to new limits.

The cafe stop was nothing short of a miracle, a popular cyclists haunt, the Mess in Brewood one turbo chocolate later, I was a new man, who needs the drugs when you have Turbo Chocolate - coffee and chocolate with heaps of sugar! That got me back home without to much pain, warm shower, lunch and a food coma on the sofa - a wonderful Sunday, life don't get much better.

Balls out

CCCP is a group of like minded underachieving cyclists - enthusiastic to the extreme but limited in natural talent. Stereotypical MAMILS (Middle aged men in Lycra) this happy band of weekend warriors plan the summers "projects" with meticulous precision over a pint in the pub usually on a Friday evening.

One of this years escapades has been decided upon which has all the hallmarks of a "Right Laugh" - and I'm not just talking about the outfits. The outfit cannot be purchased, it has to be "Earned" and we are planning to do so by taking part in a gruelling East to west journey from Southend on Sea to Galway West Ireland. - 12th - 18 August 2013 

This is tough, BALLS OUT tough, mentally and physically. 580 miles in 6 days.  This is the ultimate way to earn the Near Naked Man Status, we're signing up and pledging to raise at least £600 for the male cancer charity. Its an all male affair from the CCCP but ladies can join in . We'll be cycling through England, Wales and Republic of Ireland on possibly our toughest great cycling adventure to date . If anyone wants to join up contact info@malecancer.org Limited places available.

"Pound for pound the best cycling challenge around whilst wearing the most eye catching cycling suits" Near Naked Man, Glenn.

Its got a serious side to it, and to quote the charity's website www.malecancer.org/nnm
"Near Naked Man is the champion for MCAC’s campaign to combat the embarrassment that prevents men from discussing their bodily functions and getting tested for prostate cancer.
We want to reach a mass audience of men and those who care about them - whatever their age, culture, religion or sexuality. If we can get the message across to younger men then perhaps they’ll remember it when they’re older and recognise the early warning signs in their older friends and relatives."

Check out their promotional video, its thought provoking.

CCCP are currently looking for like minded lunatics to join the club. Of varying abilities and ages, we plan our events around charities, but stress that to be a member of the CCCP (Cannock Crap Cycling Party) the primary objective is to have a laugh and enjoy what we do, from a 20 mile sprint out on a Sunday morning to 100 mile day trip. No ego's allowed except for the odd "Yellow Jerky" ie anyone who insists on belting off on the rivet leaving the rest of the group in their wake. This is allowed as long as we all meet up at some point to take the piss and heckle the member(s) involved. If you think you have what it takes to become a CCCPer then just like us for honary membership at http://www.facebook.com/pages/CCCP-Cannock-Crap-Cycling-Party/209038349140401?ref=ts&fref=ts

Shown below the founder members on route to London to Paris we did for Action medical Research - Picture courtesy of Neil Patterson of Lynniel art  who is also a CCCP member - also does mean dog illustrations - www.lynniel.com

Quella - A stylish fixie

Edinburgh to London was a ride that our "club" the CCCP did a couple of years ago for the SAFFA charity and we made a lot of good friends on the ride. One of which was Mark Langley, who at the time was a personal fitness instructor. Together with his brother Sean and an ex pro rugby player Steven Tongue we ended up lost on top of a Scottish mountain road freezing our cobs off. We found a pub in the middle of no where to defrost with some local Whiskey produce.

Enough of the Edinburgh to London trip, I'll save that for another time - Shortly after the trip Mark launched a new venture from his Cambridge base; Quella Bicycles, a really stylish set of "Fixies" designed for about town biking. You can see the full range at www.quellabicycle.com but here's a taste of one of their recent models, and at only £389 as we go to press, its a lot of bike for your buck. I'm just waiting for a free trial model to review!

Fancy doing something different?

That was the question in hand, posed by a friend while we drank at the bar one Friday evening. And so began a 3 year dalliance with triathlon. Which was a good period of time considering my speed in the water was not unlike a barge, and I hated running.

The bike was  a different matter. Although not in the Cavendish class, I wasn't bad at it, and loved the sense of freedom and speed. The lycra fetish helped convince me that this was the way to go. So I dispensed with the budgie smugglers, and the stinky trainers to concentrated on the bike. And what a bike it was; a Giant TCR triple with clamp on tri bars that I never did get the hang of. In fact those bars were responsible for not only some of the most spectacular crashes I've had, but some of the most spectacular crashes caused! The best being a 6 man pile up after I was jolted from a dream like state by passing group of riders - I wobbled but just about held it, the group attempting to pass weren't so lucky

Needless to say the bars went.

Blikeog is born - anything human powered on two wheels

An informed but slightly warped review of the road warrior scene.